that time last week

"Kath, you don't... Well, if it's for kicks, you don't do it like that. You've got to look at the pictures much more carefully. It doesn't really work if you go that fast." "How do you know what works for girls? Or maybe you've looked these over with Ruth. Sorry, not thinking." "Kath, what are you looking for?" I ignored him. I was nearly at the end of the pile and I was now keen to finish. Then he said: "I saw you doing this once before." This time I did stop and look at him. "What's going on here, Tommy? Has Keffers recruited you for his porn patrol?" "I wasn't trying to spy on you. But I did see you, that time last week, after we'd all been up in Charley's room. There was one of these mags there, and you thought we'd all left and gone. But I came back to get my jumper, and Claire's doors were open so I could see straight through to Charley's room. That's how I saw you in there, going through the magazine." "Well, so what? We all have to get our kicks some way." "You weren't doing it for kicks. I could tell, just like I can now. It's your face, Kath. That time in Charley's room, you had a strange face. Like you were sad, maybe. And a bit scared." I jumped off the workbench, gathered up the mags and dumped them in his arms. "Here. Give these to Ruth. See if they do anything for her." I walked past him and out of the barn. I knew he'd be disappointed I hadn't told him anything, but at that point I hadn't thought things through properly myself and wasn't ready to tell anyone. But I hadn't minded him coming into the boiler hut after me. I hadn't minded at all. I'd felt comforted, protected almost. I did tell him eventually, but that wasn't until a few months later, when we went on our Norfolk trip. Chapter 12 I want to talk about the Norfolk trip, and all the things that happened that day, but I'll first have to go back a bit, to give you the background and explain why it was we went. Our first winter was just about over by then and we were all feeling much more settled. For all our little hiccups, Ruth and I had kept up our habit of rounding off the day in my room, talking over our hot drinks, and it was during one of those sessions, when we were larking around about something, that she suddenly said: "I suppose you've heard what Chrissie and Rodney have been saying."